This is not the end

How could it be
It has only just begun

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The Answers We Seek (Final Draft) – Matthew T.-S.

I.

The beginning

“My son, my sweet baby boy.”

Thrust so unceremoniously into being

This new world well defined in mystery

So many questions to be asked

So many answers I fear to give

II.

Such little creatures cause a great fuss

Unaware of the end

A babe untainted by dread

Please don’t ever grow up

III.

So confident you are in your understanding

Such hubris does not go unchecked

“We did everything we could. I’m sorry.”

The day came and through your tears

and with a cracked voice you cry out to me

“What do you mean mom is gone?

What does it mean when we die?”

I thought I would be strong enough

The answer creeps like frost upon my heart

My own dread rises in fear of the answer itself

and as I speak, the words feel as hollow as my understanding

“I don’t know.”

IV.

One missed call

“That’s as good an answer as any.”

I’m sure if the dead could wake,

It would be our howls of sorrow that would be the cause.”

Their slumber so far unhindered

V.

I’m certain you don’t remember that day

But the answer still haunts me

So noble are you, enduring the ongoing crisis of life

Motivated by your youth

I had never seen you so full of Happiness

There is no Love quite like the first

A passion brighter than any star

Your Love is the one that will last forever

Such hubris does not go unchecked.

VI.

That dragon

“Cancer. 6 months left.”

I did not know your Love for her could be so great

Like two candles caught in conflict with a storm

I saw you shine twice as bright just for her

with a cracked voice you cry out to me,

“What does it mean when we are gone?

What does it mean when we die?”

I thought I would be strong enough

The answer boils, volcanic in my heart

My own dread rises, fear of the answer itself

And as I speak the words feel as hollow as my understanding

“I don’t know.”

VII.  

Two missed calls

“That’s as good an answer as any.

I’m sure if the dead could speak,

They would quell our fears and soothe our hearts.”

Their silence a splinter in our ear

The cloud hung over you dark and foreboding

Every attempt at compassion would end in sorrow

I feared the storm would never break

But like a rainbow in the dark

”Remission. We got it all”

VIII.

Radiant in his presence

Her smile a lighthouse to pierce the night

Her life as treacherous as the shores of a raging sea

She nestled you safely in her harbor

A bastion of Love and Understanding

IX.

If your life were a movie, every frame would be a painting

Happy accidents overflow with every stroke of the brush

“He looks just like his papa,

but he has his mother’s eyes”

I did not think I could Love someone as much as you.

But then I saw the one hiding in your shadow

Such little creatures cause a great fuss

Unaware of the end

A babe untainted by dread

“Please don’t ever grow up.”

X.

How fast you go with your runnin’ shoes on

So full of energy

I’m amazed you can even contain it all

So questioning you are of your understanding

Curious beyond reason, you make me smile

“Look at how much you’ve sprouted

I can’t wait to see you all grown up.”

Such hubris does not go unchecked

“Cancer. We did everything we could”

XI.

I think I am strong enough.

“Grandpa, I was wondering…

…where do we go when we’re gone?

What does it mean when we die?”

An innocence untainted by dread

Curious of the answer myself

Please don’t ever grow up

“I don’t know, and that’s as good an answer as any.”

“That’s what my daddy said.”

“My grandson, my sweet baby boy,

How’d you get so smart?”

“Will you try to send me an answer then?”

“I will shout it from the heavens just for you,

Just for You.”

Such hubris does not go unchecked

What was that question again?

Color

Black Ink, it feels like

Such a change of pace.

There was a time where I was wreckless and creative.

All the world just a figment of my imagination,

But nowadays.

It’s all just Black Ink

Meaning

I believe,

The meaning of life

Is to distract from the incomprehensible meaning of death
Every wall and home

Every jet ski and aircraft carrier

Every Skyscraper and Tombstone
Has been meticulously crafted

To distract us

From the meaninglessness of death

To broadcast our own beliefs,

As to the meaning of life–

Or any life thereafter

Our Own Devices by Matthew T.-S.

The water cares not from whence it came

Be it from from snow from stream or from rain

Every blade of grass, every leaf the same

It wanders and reaches for that certain vain

That path of least resistance free from bane

There are only so many wonders one can claim

That would not have been possible without innocence slain

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